“Boundaries will set you free.”
– Nedra Glover Tawwab, MSW
Teaching my clients how to set personal boundaries in their everyday life is an important part of the life coaching process. With each client I encourage them to include boundaries in their goals with me. Improving self-esteem and self-empowerment are also a huge part of life coaching and counseling and are enhanced by having healthy boundaries. Without strong, clear, personal boundaries, individuals are not able to achieve a highly productive, independent, and satisfying lifestyle.
Very often I come across an exceptional book that I feel is worth clients taking the time to explore. Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab, MSW is one of these books. Ms. Tawwab helps readers move through their fears and guides them through the often challenging process of setting and maintaining personal boundaries in every area of their life. She states that boundary issues are disguised as issues with self-care, conflict with other people, trouble with time management, or concerns about how social media impacts their emotional state. As Ms. Tawwab moves through her chapters she focuses on family, career, and social and interpersonal aspects of peoples lives. She helps her readers to identify their individual challenges with boundaries and makes multiple suggestions with regard to solutions.
I am including some quotes from her book that I believe in themselves, can be initially helpful.
“At first, setting your boundaries may be uncomfortable, you might feel riddled with guilt, you might question if your doing the right thing, but set them anyway. Push past the discomfort and do it, even if you feel afraid. You’re challenging yourself to be healthier and to have healthier relationships. Ambivalence is part of the process and it’s perfectly natural to feel insecure, when you’re starting something new.”
“Once you start setting boundaries, stay the course, because consistency is the most crucial part of the process. Remember, there is no such thing as guilt-free boundary setting!”
“To minimize the guilt of setting boundaries, change the way you think about the process. … Start to believe that thy are a non-negotiable part of healthy relationships, as well as a self-care and wellness practice. … When you implement personal boundaries, stay clear about them verbally and through your actions.”
“When someone doesn’t agree with or understand your boundaries, they may push back, question them, test your limits, ignore or ghost you. No matter what, don’t stop setting them! Persevere with an awareness that your boundaries are not for people to like. They are for you to remain healthy in your relationships and to set the ground rules for you and others”
“Set your boundaries knowing that you are improving your life, not harming others!”
Interested in how a life coach can help you? Contact me and let’s set up a time talk today!